Loneliness

I get asked a lot of the same questions as I move across this country. One of the most popular is "You're doing this alone?", which is inevitably followed by "Don't you get lonely/scared/homesick?".

Since the question is always the same, I make it easy on myself and give the same answer each time: You're only as lonely as you want to be. And that's the truth, at least for myself.

In preparation for this trip I read (part of) a book called "Hurt City", which was an autobiographical chronicle of Bob Voiland's bicycle touring experiences. The book covered 30 years of his biking career, as he achieved his goal of riding from his home in Colorado into each one of the lower 48 states. He also biked every paved mountain pass in Colorado, and had some days in his touring career that exceeded 115 miles in distance. Yeah, pretty much a badass.

But i distinctly remember something he wrote about biking solo. I don't have the book with me now, to quote it directly, but it was something along the lines of: if you want to be social and make lots of friends, get into a different sport. He said that people aren't just lined up along the side of the road, excited to talk to you and shake your hand.

Well... maybe strangers don't make it THAT easy, but I've had experiences where people are very excited about what I'm doing, and not only want to shake my hand but also want to make me homemade lasagna, drive a sag wagon, escort me to the next town by bicycle, give me money, host me in their home, stay with their relatives in Arkansas, etc. The generosity of human beings is stunning, should you give them the chance.

After being on the road for over 2 months, I strongly disagree with Bob. Biking can be social: it's as social as you make it. Sometimes you feel like chatting with new folks, and sometimes you just want to sit on a picnic bench and have a good think, all to yourself. Either way has its merits, but in the end, it's your own decision to seek friends or solitude. Sometimes I get a little down, and have to be sure that I'm not blaming my loneliness on the place I'm in, or on the people. Chances are, if I'm not making friends, that's my own fault.

There are good people everywhere, just waiting to meet new folks from out of town. They may not be lined up along the side of the road, but they're just down the street or in the next aisle of the grocery store, or working retail at the gas station.

Bob Voiland's lack of social interaction wasn't entirely his own doing. When you bike 130 miles in one day, I doubt there's much daylight or energy left for chit-chatting with new friends... Makes me feel better that I only average 55 miles per day! :)